Why I am Awesome

^ That's what I have written at the top of my Word document for brainstorming about a personal statement (I'm applying for a NSF fellowship that requires a personal statement, previous research experience, and a proposed research plan. Whew!).  I decided to start with the personal statement, which is proving more difficult and involved than I had realized.

Why am I awesome?  I have many achievements and titles under the heading, but it feels more like a dead list from a resume than me.  I want to come up with some unifying theme, to connect my experiences and more clearly show my identity.  But then again, who am I?  

I know I am one in whom Christ dwells, the beloved daughter of the King.

But I don't know what that looks like in my life specifically.  And even though they are probably the most accurate things I could say, the Christian-ese would automatically be a turn-off in my personal statement to the scientists [a realm that does not look highly on personal beliefs].

I want to understand myself.  How I feel about myself rather than worrying how others view me.  How to live more confidently in my abilities.  How to put all of me together and present it to NSF in a succinct statement.

They say confidence is half the battle.
Believing you can succeed. 
Even when you know how much you don't know. 
Even when you stare at the limits of yourself.

Apparently grad school is as much about the emotional wrestling within yourself as it is the academics.

"I want to see miracles,
To see the world change.
Wrestled the angel
For more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause...
I'm singing, Spirit, take me up in my arms with you.
...I'm not copping out, not copping out..."
-from Switchfoot's Twenty-Four